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Dear Yard,

Today…you win.  You have displayed an incredible amount of strength and persistence.  No matter how hard we work, how many plants/flowers/trees we pull out, how much yard killer we spray…You.Keep.Coming.Back.  For the past 10 years, I have taken great pride in my ability to kill any and all elements of our yard.  Really.  It is actually quite amazing that I have yet to kill our grass.  BUT no matter how hard I try to kill you off…You.Keep.Coming.Back.

I wanted to let you know that I have a to-do list for the inside of our house that is as long as the Ivy that we have pulled out.  I’m tired of getting sprayed by our Kitchen Sink Sprayer and would love to replace it.  I would love to put the screens back in the windows, so we can turn off our A/C unit.  The popcorn ceilings are screaming to be scraped.  Just like the Ivy, the list goes on.

If you don’t mind, I would greatly appreciate it if you would just go DORMANT.  Please.  I don’t mean in the winter, I mean NOW.  I bow down to your ability to grow 7 types of ground cover in a 5 foot area, while I can’t even grow Parsley and Basil in the same backyard; you have proven your point and can stop at any time.

I am in awe of your power to grow Aspen shoots 30 feet away from the nearest Aspen tree; you have proven your point and can stop at any time.  I am jealous of your strength to hold on to the roots of each and every weed/tree/bush with the jaws of life; you have proven your point and can stop at any time.

Today…I am beaten down…by you.  BUT take cover, Yard.  Tomorrow is a new day.

Your friend,

The. Mrs.

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